Technoholic Formula Changes - Year 24!

(Technoholic updates are already planned through December 8th, 2021. View the page source for a preview of what's coming!)

July 9th - July 16th, 2021: Powers proofreading, round 12! (workin' on it)

July 8th, 2021: overhaul 2003's Hollow Point (workin' on him!)

July 7th, 2021: since I'm done with the regular GI Joe vehicles from 2003, guess who's starting to refine the BTR devices? BTR stands for Built To Rule, a really lousy brand name Hasbro used for GI Joe and Transformers toys that utilized their in-house Lego ™ knockoffs, for good or ill. Anyway, the first of these I fixed up was the Armadillo Assault!

July 6th, 2021: Hacker is a GI Joe operative I have mixed feelings about. He's presented almost like a stereotypical computer hacker, but seems a lot more redeemable than the obnoxious Joe hacker duo Devil's Due made up for... reasons. Anyway, this guy only had one figure ever, and had an Edition 13 variation, so all he needed was Modernization and Streamlining!

July 5th, 2021: a hardened pickup truck bristling with offensive capability, the Split Fire is the final conventional GI Joe vehicle from 2003 needing an update. Since only one of these was ever released, I didn't need to Condense my text for these things, and as it already had a 4C System: Edition 13 variation, I just had to Streamline and Modernize it!

July 4th, 2021: what do you know, it's Independence Day hereabouts! Here's hoping that your Fourth of July goes a bit better than it did last year, since I imagine very few folks were able to celebrate as they'd have liked. But, in case you're staying inside, here's a revised set of character descriptions for Depth Charge that I hope will keep you busy!

July 3rd, 2021: the penultimate 'regular' vehicle from 2003 that I need to revise, the Smoke Screen Transport is essentially a Humvee ™ with a one-man flying vehicle secreted inside! This is the only version of the thing ever released, and I already built its 4C System: Edition 13 variation, so all I needed to do here was Modernize and Streamline its texts!

July 2nd, 2021: continuing my efforts within the 2003 GI Joe personnel roster, I've taken the time to sort out what I'd previously written for Barrel Roll today. This involved Condensing, Modernizing, and Streamlining his texts, along with adding his new, 2013 action figure to the mix, as well as a 4C System: Edition 13 variation. He's all done again!

July 1st, 2021: as all the other 2003 GI Joe vehicles have a 4C System: Edition 13 variation at this point, I've gone slightly out of order to sort out the Wave Crusher. This tiny Spy Troops vehicle has been Condensed, Streamlined, and Modernized, and with its 4C System: Edition 13 version being added, I guess I'm all done with it again!

June 30th, 2021: while I've been working on the 2003 GI Joe equipment for a bit, I've finally caught up with that year's personnel, as well! I began my effort to rehabilitate those Joes' descriptions by Modernizing and Streamlining what I'd previously written for Agent Faces, GI Joe's super-spy, and gave him a 4C System: Edition 13 variation!

June 29th, 2021: resuming my work on the 2003 GI Joe equipment roster, I've overhauled my extensive descriptions of the Sky Sweeper Jet. This miniaturized B-2 bomber is a wonderful toy, even without the little 'spy' micro-jet secreted within! I've Condensed, Modernized, and Streamlined all three variations on this thing, so enjoy it once more!

June 21st - June 28th, 2021: Powers proofreading, round 11! (workin' on it)

June 20th, 2021: since I've completed the effort to revise all of my GI Joe personnel and equipment descriptions introduced in 2002, the last task to be finished is rebuilding the text file downloadable for that calendar year. This file has dramatically shrank after I ripped out all the Joes and Joe stuff presented elsewhere. Goodness, it's now downright tiny!

June 19th, 2021: with all the repaints done, I get to at least end my work on the 2002 GI Joe roster by revising a character who received an all-new mold that year! This fellow is Dart, who I have Condensed, Modernized, and Streamlined, and I'm now much, much happier with my descriptions of the man. I'm surprised he got no love over the last few years.

June 18th, 2021: keeping on with my effort to hopefully someday eventually be finished updating my GI Joe descriptions, I have revised my work on the Road Rebel. Several things needed fixing here, but at the very least, all three variations on this theme were mercifully short. So now, now this mobile weapon platform is once again ready for use in your game!

June 17rd, 2021: ending the repaints era of the GI Joe roster of personnel and equipment, I have rehabilitated my descriptions of the second Sidetrack, Modernizing and Streamlining his extant variations, and then building his 4C System: Edition 13 version. Luckily, I could steal a lot of text from the first Sidetrack, speeding this one along some.

June 16nd, 2021: the Patriot Grizzly was a weird animal. It was first introduced in the year 2003 as a main battle tank for the GI Joe team, but quickly received a Night Force repaint just a year later. And then, at the same time, a BTR (read: knockoff Lego ™) version was also released. So I Condensed, Streamlined, and Modernized all its entries!

June 15st, 2021: doing my best to wrap up the GI Joe half of the Repaint Era, I've overhauled my descriptions of Sideswipe today. This odd repaint of Stretcher had all his gear, which was an almost identical match for my descriptions of Lifeline 2. So, Streamlining and Modernizing this one-shot Joe was a lot easier than I expected. Only one more to go!

June 14th, 2021: alternating between characters and equipment of late, since there are so many 2003 vehicles, I have refined my descriptions of the Military Utility Vehicle, or MUV. I Modernized and Streamlined its descriptions, but didn't need to Condense it since ther was only one. Furthermore, it already had a 4C System: Edition 13 variation!

June 13th, 2021: once again switching back to character work, I'm starting my revisions to the remaining 2002 GI Joe roster. I began this by cleaning up what I'd written for the second Lifeline, adding his 4C System: Edition 13 variation, Condensing, Modernizing, and Streamlining his entries. Only three more folks to go from this year!

June 5th - June 12th, 2021: Powers proofreading, round 10! (workin' on it)

June 4th, 2021: with all the new characters and equipment introduced to the GI Joe roster in 2001 finished once and for all, uh, again, I've rebuilt the text file downloadable for that collection of game descriptions. Unlike the last three years worth of Joe innovations, at least this one had a respectable amount of new, albeit completely silly, material.

June 3rd, 2021: the last 'original' GI Joe 'characters' created by Devil's Due in 2001 were its Greenshirts. Even though the entire point of GI Joe is that they're the best of the best of the best, go right ahead, create a group of mooks so that you can have nameless Joes ganked in your comics. Whatever. Hacky writing at its hackiest, folks!

June 2nd, 2021: wrapping up my work on the 2003 GI Joe equipment roster for the nonce, I've sorted out my writings for the Hoverstrike. This real hovercraft already had its 4C System: Edition 13 variation, so all I mostly had to do here was serious Modernization, a small bit of Streamlining, and, well, that was it. It wasn't as bad as I expected!

June 1st, 2021: the second Devil's Due original character first published in the year 2001, Firewall was another pet Joe character created as what, someone to relate to? Be 'cool'? A master computer hacker and misanthropic digital terrorist, Firewall was allowed to avoid jail in exchange for helping the Joes with her mad skills. Seems legit, I guess.

May 31st, 2021: as it so happened, the Gun Station already featured a 4C System: Edition 13 variation, so at least I didn't have to fiddle with that any. Furthermore, it was seemingly Streamlined already, so all the small amount of text for this system needed was a bit of Modernization. Oh, and its 2004 variant Condensed into this initial, 2003 description.

May 30th, 2021: with as many characters as the Devil's Due crew had to work with, I was especially annoyed when they introduced two Mary Sue style criminal hackers into the GI Joe team when they started their run on its comic. On the other hand, it was immensely satisfying to see one of these, Daemon, cheerfully murdered by Serpentor a few years later.

May 29th, 2021: while it did not previously have a 4C System: Edition 13 variation on a theme, the Desert Coyote does now! I built it after Modernizing, Streamlining, and Condensing its extant descriptions, thus put this weaponized go-kart to bed, uh, again. I think it's silly, but I bought it because it had Clutch for its driver. Clutch rules!

May 28th, 2021: finally wrapping up my work on GI Joe characters from 2001 that actually received action figures that year, I've revised my descriptions of Wet Down. In addition to cleaning up his sloppy text, I modernized his in-game representation, and provided him a 4C System: Edition 13 variation. That just leaves the '01 Devil's Due Joes (brr).

May 20th - May 27th, 2021: Powers proofreading, round 9! (workin' on it)

May 19th, 2021: moving on to the 2003 GI Joe equipment roster, which is a good thing since that year had so many vehicles, I started by cleaning up my descriptions of the Battle Blitz. This inexplicable vehicle already had a 4C System: Edition 13 variation, so all that was required to clean it up was minor Modernization and Streamlining.

May 18th, 2021: so yeah, I hate Sure Fire. Named after the leader of the then-current GI Joe collector club, and then given a rank that overshadows almost everyone on the team, he's like the ultimate Marty Sue character. I hate Sure Fire. And everyone who signed off on the creation of this abomination. Anyway, his entries are current!

May 17th, 2021: wrapping up my work on the 2002 GI Joe equipment roster, I've overhauled my descriptions of the Sand Razor! Its texts have been Streamlined and Modernized, and I built up the 4C System: Edition 13 variations on the thing. I liked this particular toy a whole lot, and yet this thing only saw one release ever. Weird, if you ask me.

May 16th, 2021: 2001 was a weird year for GI Joe, where it shoehorned several older molds into representing entirely new characters. Take Double Blast, for one, who used Roadblocks first mold from '84. They then used his background data for the next Roadblock, screwing everything up. Sigh. At least I had a bit of fun with that on his descriptions.

May 15th, 2021: while I personally liked the toy for this vehicle, I think issuing two distinct repaints was a bit of a stretch. At any rate, I've Streamlined and Modernized my texts for the Night Attack Chopper, built a 4C System: Edition 13 variation on the thing, and then Condensed its two (count 'em) 2003 variations into its basic entries.

May 14th, 2021: compared to the last three years of GI Joe material, there seems to be a whole lot of folks to refine in the 2001 roster. The second of these people that I've rehabilitated is Crossfire, as his descriptions were a mess. I heavily Streamlined his texts, Modernized his rules information, and produced his 4C System: Edition 13 entry.

May 13th, 2021: though it took a surprising amount of time, I have Streamlined and Modernized my descriptions of the Assault Quad. I also produced a 4C System: Edition 13 variation on this theme, and then Condensed the 2004 Assault Quad and the 2004 Venom Striker into this core set of equipment entries, for the betterment of the 13's SEO, such as it is.

May 12th, 2021: resuming work on the character half of the 13's content, I've begun to revise the 2001 GI Joe personnel roster! I've started with Big Brawler, who ostensibly seemed like he'd require the most work to rehabilitate, so I could at least get that over with. I have Modernized, Streamlined, Condensed, and 4C Systemized his entries. Woo!

May 4th - May 11th, 2021: Powers proofreading, round 8! (workin' on it)

May 3rd, 2021: with the 1997, 1998, and 2000 GI Joe rosters of personnel and equipment done, I am building a text file downloadable to contain the small amounts of original characters from these years. This ultimately amounts to just four new Joes, since everything else is a repaint of older folks and stuff. But hey, at least we're moving on to 2001, now!

May 2nd, 2021: completing my effort to overhaul the 2000 GI Joe roster of personnel and equipment, I've gone over my descriptions of Whiteout for you! He mainly required Modernization and Condensation, as he didn't need Streamlning, and since he already had a 4C System: Edition 13 variation, I mostly just had to check it for conversion errors. Ahh, nice.

May 1st, 2021: wrapping up my efforts on the 2001 GI Joe equipment roster, I have finished revising the other Devil's Due GI Joe gear introduced this year. These implements were the Cube Cams, which were introduced - and then promptly forgotten about - shortly thereafter. Luckily, these descriptions just needed a bit of tweaking, and were mostly okay. Yay!

April 30th, 2021: continuing my effort to clean up the new 2000 GI Joe characters made using repainted, older action figures, I've overhauled the first Sidetrack. This guy took an inordinate amount of effort to Streamline and Modernize, telling me I wrote him a long time ago. I also built his 4C System: Edition 13 variation, so now I'm done with him!

April 29th, 2021: since I finished my revisions on vehicles released in the year 2001, I must now overhaul some of the devices introduced to GI Joe lore in the late, unlamented Devil's Due comics continuity branch. The first of these is the Joe-Com, which has a lot of capabilities, to be sure, but seems to have almost a bit too much power for individual Joes.

April 28th, 2021: starting work on the last year of the previous millennium, I've begun to revise the 2000 GI Joe personnel roster in earnest! Today's effort has seen me cleaning up what I'd written for the Chameleon, an inexplicable Baroness repaint. She took considerable effort to Streamline and Modernize, but at least there was only one Chameleon figure ever.

April 20th - April 27th, 2021: Powers proofreading, round 7! (workin' on it)

April 19th, 2021: since I'm all done with the 1994 GI Joe roster of people and things, it's time for me to rebuild the text file downloadable for that year of heroes. I wiped the old one, added all the files that originated in this calendar year, and produced the 'read me' file that points you to where all the figures not included here reside. Ta daa!

April 18th, 2021: for my last revision to the 1994 GI Joe roster of personnel and equipment, I have overhauled my descriptions of Effects. This former Hollywood special effects expert (hence the name) enlisted after working with members of the armed forces, and never looked back! He's now been Modernized, Streamlined, and 4C Systemized!

April 17th, 2021: since the 1994 GI Joe equipment is done, and the 1997 GI Joe equipment is done, and the 1998 GI Joe equipment is done, and the 2000 GI Joe equipment is done, I suppose I'll move on to 2001! To this end, I've rehabilitated my descriptions of the Night Landing Craft, Modifying, Streamlining, and 4C Systemizing the thing at long last!

April 16th, 2021: for my penultimate revision to the 1994 roster of GI Joe personnel and equipment, I have cleaned up my descriptions of Gears. Not only did I Modernize and Streamline this genius inventor, but I've added his 4C System: Edition 13 variation as well. Just one more of these to go before the original Real American Hero line is done!

April 15th, 2021: the last vehicle GI Joe unveiled in 1994, the Blockbuster is an Arctic ride that is essentially a massive missile launcher on a 6WD chassis. As there was only one of these ever issued, Streamlining and Modernizing the Blockbuster wasn't all that much of a pain, and producing its 4C System: Edition 13 variation only took a short amount of time. Yay!

April 14th, 2021: with all the regular GI Joe operatives from 1994 sorted out, I'm working my way through the team's Star Brigade sub-team now. The first of these I hit is Space Shot, a guy who really doesn't fit in well with the rest of the GI Joe 'story', but I covered him all the same. He's now Modernized, Streamlined, and 4C Systemized, so enjoy!

April 13th, 2021: the second to last GI Joe vehicle from 1994 what needed an overhaul, the Manta Ray, has now been cleaned up. This vehicle is somewhat small and simple, its description needing only minimal work for Streamlining and Modernization. Also, building up its 4C System: Edition 13 variation only took a couple minutes, so that's done as well!

April 12th, 2021: moving along through the 1994 GI Joe roster of people and things, I have cleaned up my descriptions of the original GI Joe. Joseph Colton, in all his glory, has been Condensed, Modernized, and Streamlined. On top of that, I added his 4C System: Edition 13 variation, not to mention his recent, 2014 action figure. We're slowly getting there!

April 11th, 2021: continuing on in my blitz to crank out my upgrades to the 1994 GI Joe roster of personnel and equipment. I've refined my descriptions of the Razor-blade today. This is a small rescue copter, though it is armed with a few missiles because, you know, missiles! The Razor-blade is now Streamlined, Modernized, and 4C Systemized.

April 10th, 2021: resuming something resembling a normal update schedule, at least compared to year 23, I've begun work on the 1994 GI Joe personnel and equipment roster! The first upgrade I have produced is to the Ice Cream Soldier, who only received one action figure. Thus, performing Modernizing, Streamlining, and 4C Systemization was relatively easy.

April 9th, 2021: well hi there, and welcome to year twenty-four of the life and times of Technohol 13: the Atomic Drink! This is that weird point where this site has been live for longer than half of my existence thus far, and to mark this occasion I have rolled over the usual indicators that time has progressed up in this piece.

Furthermore, I've uploaded the entire 13 anew to account for some behind-the-scenes work I have engaged in over the last few months. While I logged a bunch of search and replace functions in the updates a few months back, I somehow managed to wipe most of those out, so I did them all again. I did so over time, to spare my sanity, so you may see some changes here and there.

But, as always, I cannot just do maintenance work to celebrate the new Technoholic year, as that'd be a lackluster anniversary. Thus, I've used today as the perfect opportunity to complete my work on the 1993 GI Joe roster! That's right, I've Modernized and Streamlined and 4C Systemized my text for the inexplicable Colonel Courage, who I can't help but like.

And, since that wrapped up the 1993 GI Joe personnel and equipment entries what needed revising, since many of them were so old it hurt, I have reassembled the text file downloadable for this year of heroes and their things. The new one is much, much smaller, having excised all the old files of Joes who got repaints that year. So hey, less bandwidth, if you care!

I'm not just updating a few extant things for this auspicious day, however. For one thing, I added details of the Cobra Power Fighter into its 1994 roster of equipment, but since it was just a counterpart to the GI Joe Power Fighter, that mainly just involved sorting out my work on the latter, and then adding details of Cobra's dubious version.

But even this just kinda-sorta adds something new to the site. Keeping that in mind, I finally got back on the new character thing, at least for a little bit, and produced a description of Overkill, the originally artificial leader of Cobra's Battle Android Troopers! He was a weird outlier in their ranks, and eventually replaced by a cyborg for some reason.

So that's that. One character update, one text file uploadable revised from scratch, one new character, a fresh upload of the entire 13, and all that anniversary overhaul business. Not too bad for the beginning of Technohol 13: Year 24, I hope. May the rest of the year be full of progress on my many, many outstanding projects, and eventually pave the way for all-new material!

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