Technoholic Formula Changes - Year 25!
(Technoholic updates are already planned, however tentatively, for year twenty-five. View the page source for a preview of what's coming!)
June 6th, 2022: 2012-2018 GI Joe text file archive (workin' on it)
June 5th, 2022: wrapping up my work on the GI Joe team, 1995 and 1996 aside (!), I have completed a character description of Sergeant Smasher, the guy the GI Joe collector club created because they couldn't get Sergeant Slaughter, and couldn't be bothered to come up with anything aside from an expy. Sure, he doesn't suck, but they could've done anything else.
June 4th, 2022: Cargo Truck (workin' on it)
June 1st, 2022: my research on the 2018 series of GI Joe action figures now complete, I have added details of the new figures that Mercer, Red Dog, Taurus, and Rock 'n Roll received that weren't just direct homages to previous figures. Sure, I probably could've faked it with the latter of these four and ignored him, but Rock's one of my favorite joes, so.
May 31st, 2022: still chipping away at outstanding potential additions to the Oktober Guard roster, I took time out today to complete a short description of the team's Dneprs. These branded motorcycles, custom-built for the Oktober Guard in Ukraine (whoops!), feature heavily armed sidecars that can be detached in a pinch to greatly speed the vehicle up.
May 27th, 2022: continuing my work to finally wrap up my work on the GI Joe team, '95 and '96 aside, I've added details of the their 2018 figures to to Blizzard, Hit 'n Run, Psyche-Out, and Tunnel Rat today, all four receiving new dtails based on their fresh toys from this year. Though, as expensive as they are, I think they merely qualify as 'collectibles'.
May 26th, 2022: sure, I said I was done with all the extant Oktober Guard stuff, but as it turned out, their Attack Helicopter was a lousy convention repaint of the live movie's variation on the Dragonfly XH-1. So, instead of building a redundant, parallel description of the thing, I just added Oktober Guard details to the original and called it good.
May 23rd, 2022: today, I added details from Windmill's 2017 figure to complete that roster of GI Joe personnel and equipment. Then, I began parsing two of the last three waves of collector figures, adding 2018 details for Banzai, Hardball, and Recoil, and then added a blade to Bullet-Proof's descriptions (but not 2018 details). Getting there!
May 22nd, 2022: so I produced another all-new entry for my Oktober Guard roster today, this one being Wong. That oddball was a member of the Guard in the original GI Joe animated series, and I'd never bothered working him up until I realized I was about done with the Guard's membership, a few vehicles (and maybe IDW members) aside. Go check him out!
May 19th, 2022: ah, completion. I'm wrapping up the 2016 GI Joe personnel and equipment roster today, doing so by completing my descriptions of Stiletto. This literal fan fiction GI Joe operative was given a figure this year (some contest or something), so now Mercer has a bodyguard (?) that defected from Cobra with him (!), who also joined GI Joe (?!?).
May 18th, 2022: with all my existing Oktober Guard descriptions complete, it's high time I start on the missing ones! The first of these is Iron Bear, yet another insert of a GI Joe collector into the line, inexplicably as a Soviet-era general. Sigh. Anyway, I tried to write him as seriously as I could, so I hope you dig the guy. I don't, but you might!
May 17th, 2022: it's weird having finished my work on the entire, original Real American Hero run of Cobra personnel and equipment. My 1993 and 1994 Cobra efforts consisted of eleven Cobras, only one of which was an actual individual, and a couple of vehicles for good measure. What, four? Anyway, here's a text file archive of this material for your gaming use.
May 16th, 2022: at this point in the game, everything else was already done for my 1994 Cobra Personnel and Equipment roster, save for one of the former. The Blackstars are supposedly an elite legion of secretive space pilots, one of which is contracted out to Cobra for... reasons? Maybe he flies the Commander to and fro in space? Who knows!
May 14th, 2022: moving on to their 2016 roster, I began work on the first of two new GI Joes who premiered this year. Today's focus is on Air Raid, a new addition to the Sky Patrol (the first since 1990), who I mostly patched together from extant Joe descriptions, a bit of flair aside. Hey, if Hasbro can do it, why on earth can't I? Besides, if the shoe fits?
May 13th, 2022: you know I'm not very fond of a character if I can't even bring myself to give them an Edge score higher than zero for their Saga System 13 variation. And that's Ruslan in a nutshell, a character introduced by the Devil's Due people to replace one they killed for no discernible reason, who then had no discernible reason to even exist. Ugh.
May 12th, 2022: today I produced the last character description I needed to complete my 1993 Cobra roster. Yay! This was Gristle, the only new individual villain actually released for Cobra that year, the rest being troops or older characters. So hey, that leaves one more Cobra before I've finished all its original Real American Hero membership!
May 10th, 2022: continuing to claw my way towards the end of my work on the GI Joe team, I've added another new character description, this one of Sightline. Acting as a target spotter for allied aircraft flying above, he often finds himself alone behind enemy lines. But hey, that wraps up all my work on the 2015 GI Joe equipment and personnel roster!
May 9th, 2022: gonna start up this Technoholic month of fun by pounding out all the problems (I hope) with my descriptions of Red Star. He needed some Streamlining, sure, but I think he might've been one of my 4C System prototype entries, as bad as that variation on him was. But he's all sorted out now. At least I hope, anyway. Don't wanna do this again.
May 8th, 2022: wrapping up this first Technoholic month of year twenty-five, I've also finally wrapped up my work on ninjas for a while. I sincerely hope, anyway. But today's work is my penultimate addition to the 1993 Cobra personnel and equipment roster, me finally breaking down and trying to make sense of the Cobra associates known as the Red Ninjas.
May 6th, 2022: seeing the end of the GI Joe roster in sight, weirdness from '95 and '96 aside, I am barreling ahead into the 2013 roster of personnel and equipment. This involved me producing an entirely new description for Freestyle, a new fighter pilot for the team, and incidentally, the last character I needed to complete the 2013 Joe rosters. Yay!
May 5th, 2022: continuing to peck away at the remaining members of the Oktober Guard what need revising, I've cleaned up my descriptions of Sergeant Misha today. He already had a 4C System: Edition 13 variation, as did the rest of the Guard, but did need a lot of Streamlining, and just a touch of the Modernizing. But he's all up to date now!
May 4th, 2022: though I am utterly burned out on ninjas, I persist in my work on the 1993 Cobra roster, so ninjas were sadly inevitable. Today's offering of ninja stew is a description of the Night Creeper Leaders, and while I was able to lift about a quarter of the regular Night Creeper text to use on this, these things wound up being downright huge.
May 2nd, 2022: 2012 didn't see a lot of GI Joe toys released for the Real American Hero storyline, with just about everything following the Retaliation live-action film this year. The Joes nonetheless added one new character to the mix, that being Ashiko, a Arashikage ninja and motorcycle stuntman with a suit of transforming power armor. No, really!
May 1st, 2022: moving deeper into the second Oktober Guard team, I've sorted out my descriptions of Lieutenant Gorky today. This Russian Navy operative was initially just a replacement for Stormavik, but quickly made a name for himself in the Guard. Luckily his Devil's Due demise was written off as out of continuity, because it was stupid.
April 30th, 2022: continuing to avoid any super-human shenanigans for as long as I can, I put together a description of the Headhunter Stormtroopers, the elite criminal lieutenants of that weird criminal organization. Luckily, I was able to plunder about a third of the regular Headhunters entries for today's work. Not bad, eh?
April 28th, 2022: while I considered her a live-action character only, Agent Helix has since showed up in the Real American Hero comic, so I have gone back to retroactively add her into the 2009 GI Joe personnel roster. This took a bit of research, though, since appparently no one has written anything about this instance of the character. Ah, leg work.
April 27th, 2022: starting my work on the second Oktober Guard team, I've cleaned up my three variations on a description for Big Bear. This lunkhead has been Streamlined and Modernized, both of which were more than a little bit of a headache. But, at least the guy didn't need me to build him a 4C System: Edition 13 variation as well.
April 26th, 2022: taking a break from the super-human freakshows endemic to the 1993 Cobra personnel roster, I took the time to build a description of that year's Nitro-Vipers. An evolution of the Track-Vipers from the late 1980s, the sole additional qualification to join this corps is the urge to destroy, with explosions, anything and everything!
April 24th, 2022: though it's a relatively small archive, the text file downloadable I produced for the 2010 and 2011 GI Joe personnel and equipment rosters covers most of the Real American Hero (?) GI Joe releases situated between their first and second live-action films. Though a small collection, it does have a few gems, including the Steel Marauder!
April 23rd, 2022: what do you know, I've wrapped up my work on the 2011 GI Joe roster! This is because I have crafted a set of character descriptions for Ice Storm, a Joe whose first figure was for the awful, first live-action film. His second was packaged Real American Hero style, however, so I went ahead and covered the fellow here!
April 22nd, 2022: I am definitely at the mid-point of my work to overhaul the Oktober Guard, because I have completed my refinements on the original team! That's right, today I cleaned up what I'd previously written for Stormavik, namely by doing a whole lot of Streamlining, and only a moderate amount of Modernization. That was a nice change of pace.
April 21st, 2022: I believed I would never add to the 13 a character whose arsenal includes explosive poo which they fling at their enemies, but today proved me wrong! This is because I just finished my description of Cobra's 1993 Monstro-Vipers in all their chimeric cryptozoological glory. I'm trying to come up with a witty retort to their existence, but can't.
April 19th, 2022: aside from putting together some pity text for their roster page, I have finished my work on the Steel Brigade today, namely by throwing together a description of the last uncovered portion of this GI Joe sub-team, the Steel Brigade Deltas. These vehicular combatants are now fully covered in the GI Joe 2011 personnel roster!
April 18th, 2022: I think I'm close to the halfway point in my effort to clean up the Oktober Guard. This is because I sorted out what I'd previously written for Shrage today. With all the batch replacements I've been doing in the Guard so far, Shrage wasn't too much of a pain to sort out. Just the usual Streamlining and Modernization to deal with.
April 17th, 2022: oof, and I thought the Cyber-Vipers were a handful. I was proven wrong today, when I crafted a description of the 1993 Cobras known as Bio-Vipers. These gigantic action figures represent former Cobra EELs given the traits of numerous sea creatures thanks to Doctor Mindbender's meddling, which turned them into rampaging beasts!
April 16th, 2022: since I'm done with GI Joe's vehicular arsenal, unless something happened in 2018 I'm unaware of, I resumed work on the outstanding Cobra vehicles what need covering. The last from the original toyline, the Scorpion is a two-seated, four-wheeled, all-terrain vehicle that serves the same purpose of the Ferret - with a bonus seat!
April 15th, 2022: oh look, I only had one more GI Joe character description to write before I finsihed the entire 2010 roster! Thus, I took time out today to craft one of those for Tomahawk, who had next to nothing available to work with. Since he was a weak repaint of Lift-Ticket, though, it seemed fitting that I mine my writing for that Joe for this cipher.
April 14th, 2022: moving forward with my effort to finish, at long last, my goal of cleaning up extant character descriptions, I have overhauled my descriptions of the Oktober Guard's Horror Show today. He needed a whole lot of Streamlining, and a bit of Modernization, but for the most part Horrror Show's descriptions weren't all that bad!
April 13th, 2022 once again returning my terrible gaze onto the 1993 roster of Cobra personnel, I have concocted a description of the downright strange Mega-Vipers. Luckily, Mega-Vipers are similar in nature to the Cyber-Viper, as far as equipment and brain implants were concerned, so I was able to reuse a lot of the latter when building the former.
April 12th, 2022: as it turns out, I only had one more GI Joe vehicle that needed describing, before I'd covered the group's entire high-tech arsenal. I know, right? This last piece of equipment is the Cycle Armor, a motorcycle that can be disassembled - only to be reassembled around the driver as some sort of combat armor. Not too shabby, eh?
April 11th, 2022: still trying to wrap up my look at the GI Joe team (though not the actual GI Joe reference, by far), I've covered Night Fox as best as I could. This 2010 Joe received very little information to craft descriptions of the man, but I tried the best I could with the meager data I had. Sorry his 'story' section is so short, there - the man had zilch.
April 10th, 2022: picking up where I left off, uh, yesterday, I overhauled another member of the Oktober Guard today. This time around, I sorted out what I'd previously written for Dragonsky, Streamlining and Modernizing his rules text somewhat. Again, these fellows already had their 4C System: Edition 13 variations, so I didn't have to bother doing that.
April 9th, 2022: welcome to Technohol 13: Year 25! Yeah, this site is inexplicably still alive, as am I, so the hits just keep on coming - albeit on my stunted, also-building-a-Skoolie schedule. Since it's that day in the 13's annual updates cycle, I have overhauled enough of the site that it now reflects its current year of operation, which only took about an hour.
Naturally, however, I can't just leave all y'all with just one daily upgrade to Technohol Dot Com, what with this being such an auspicious day. Thus, I've started out with some work on the final group on the site needing an overhaul, the Oktober Guard! Colonel Brekhov already had a 4C System variation, so this just involved some Streamlining and Modernizing.
Once again, though, just revising an extant entry doesn't cut it for me on this particular date. As such, I have for you an all-new character description, this time from the 2010 GI Joe personnel roster! This fellow is Kickstart, who apparently built the Steel Marauder mech for the GI Joe team, who then lets him use it in the field against Cobra himself.
Shades of Spitfire, there, I know. Anyway, since I covered the man himself, I thought I'd detail his ride, the Steel Marauder, in great detail. Well, in as much detail as I could glean from online pictures of the packaging and the large mecha itself. Mind you, since I added the Steel Marauder, I had to cover its Cobra clone / counterpart, their Deviant.
And, since I had their ride, I figured why not just cover the Cyber-Vipers as well? These monstrous cybernetic Cobra operatives are Doctor Mindbender's personal cadre of military operatives and laboratory assistants, created by his own mad science (and, of course, liberal funding from the Commander). Sounds like a good start to the Technoholic year, right?
Yeah, two new characters, one and a half new vehicles, and one of the last characters on the 13 what needed revising being revised. Definitely a good start! As I noted previously, however, I'm still in the process of crafting a Skoolie out of that gigantic bus we took possession of last March. Thus, I'm not sure how long I'll be able to keep regular updates up.
But I'm going to try for as long as I can. Come back to the 13 regularly to see how long I can pull this off!
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