the Warriors of Thor

This summary of the Warriors of Thor has been compiled by Agent Deathmonger, one of Agency 13's most impartial fact-finders; he may not like these guys in the slightest, but at least he doesn't condemn them outright. In addition to a study of the group's general nature, he's investigated some of the more notorious Warriors of Thor, in case you should run afoul of them on the job - Mike 013

The very first time I ran into a bunch of the so-called Warriors of Thor, so-called pious followers of the so-called God of Thunder, I pegged them as a menace. I was tracking down a gang of biker thugs who were engaging in the interstate fencing of all kinds of expensive, stolen goods. Imagine my surprise when I got the crap kicked out of me by six guys in horned helms carrying sledge hammers. Heavy sledge hammers.

I haven't changed my assessment of their trouble-making capacity.

According to the various books published about this so-called religion (and yes, i use the description 'so-called' a lot because I disagree with all of these notions), the Warriors of Thor showed up back in '79. A response to the times, I'm told. The notion is that these fellows revere the mythological entity known as Thor, whether we're talking about his style, his behavior, or his heroic alcohol capacity.

The Warriors have no organized doctrine of any stripe. While some are simply ordinary folk who actually believe what their fellows tell them regarding the 'greatness' of Thor, most of the Warriors are out there, quite frankly. Many of the Warriors are bikers, and often wear wrought-iron horned helms, complete with wings welded onto the sides, deck out their 'mechanical steeds' like a Viking boat, and carry hammers.

Ball-peen hammers, sledge hammers, mauls - take your pick. These thugs aren't necessarily antagonistic, but they're more than happy to set anybody who questions them - or Thor - straight... and this happens a lot in the rural bars where they often wind up in bulk. And they do drink plenty. Most Warriors have built up an exceptional tolerance to alcohol, or are alcoholics themselves, from drinking so darn much.

The first publicly declared Warrior we know of is an odd fellow that goes by the name of Tex Goldberg. This poser makes like a native Texan cowboy, even though he was born to wealthy aristocrats in Connecticut. When he's not pretending to be a rancher down south, the man is busy spending a large percentage of his personal wealth furthering the aims of Thor's own.

To start with, he's worked hard to organize the Warriors somewhat. This is rather difficult, considering the nature of the alleged church, but Tex began by setting up a national 'lodge' in the heart of New York City. This wiped out most of his inheritance, for the man bulldozed half of a residential block to build the bar and the rather large parking lot the facility required (it has room for hundreds of motorcycles).

The lodge itself is a multi-story facility. The ground level is the commons, a bar that serves alcohol to the Warriors without charge (they simply pay an exorbitant tithe to the church for this privilege), and has various televisions, dart boards, and the like. Of course, most of the furniture is roughly made, built out of simple logs assembled quickly; furniture in the Warriors' lodge has a rather short life span.

The upper levels are all small rooms where a Warrior can stay for the evening - or as long as he or she needs. Most Warriors are financially independent in their own right, as a majority own their own custom-built motorcycles in addition to their other gear and property, so these stays rarely last long. Most of the time, these rooms rotate Warriors in and out in a jiffy, while they're in town on business.

Though initially quite expensive to maintain, the tithes the Warriors pay to make use of this facility more than make up for the costs - and Tex even makes a couple bucks off the place. Furthermore, the lodge has helped to accomplish his goals, bringing the Warriors of the world together somewhat. While the group is still a loosely affiliated organization, most of Thor's own will defend each other tooth and nail.

The lodge isn't the only effort that Tex has made to enhance the influence of the Warriors of Thor, however. For those followers of Thor that can pony up the cash, Tex has commissioned the design of a few high tech implements that make their wielder incredibly dangerous in a fight. Some of these include concussion hammers, hammers that can be thrown and return to their wielder, and even a hover-cycle.

Not that this gear is very common, mind you - the fellows from the Electronicists' League that whipped these beasties up for Tex charge a ridiculous amount of cash for 'em. But sometimes being able to knock an eighteen wheel truck off the road with one swing of a hammer can be worth it. And I won't even go into the truly faithful Warriors, those who seem to manifest actual magical devices and powers.

I'll let Sir Tophat handle that job.

While Tex Goldberg goes out of his way to promote the Warriors' interests, it is important to note that Thor's own don't seem to have what we might consider an agenda, per se. The Plebian Federation might want to take over the world, and the Cult of Set may want to destroy everyone on it, but the Warriors of Thor aren't out to do anything, really. They're not shiftless... they're just intent on enjoying themselves.

That and most Warriors tend to have their own irons in the fire. Some are vigilantes, some are criminals, and some actually keep full-time jobs. In a given week, I ran into a couple Warriors running absinthe, a gang of Warrior bikers roaming the country on a search for drunk drivers, and one who was a stockbroker. In other words, the good and bad efforts of various Warriors tend to ultimately cancel each other out.

This is why, while I consider the Warriors of Thor a menace, they're not intractable enemies, and they're definitely not a serious threat to the status quo. Despite my personal dislike for these undisciplined hooligans, I simply can't justify bending any serious effort towards looking into them further, much less shutting them down. Of course, the DEA and the FBI tend to think a bit differently than I do...!

The following is a summary of the known Warriors of Thor active in the world, entered after they were encountered in the field - and subsequently investigated thoroughly. For convenience, I've also included a base 'template' of Thor's own, most of which tend to be hammer-wielding biker-types, so one has an idea what they'll encounter should they meet up with one (or a whole bunch) of these guys while working - Mike 013.

Basher Bob: a brain-addled dwarf from elsewhere, Basher Bob was mistaken for a Warrior of Thor upon his inadvertent arrival in New York. Delivered to their lodge by the authorities, he just sort of moved in since everyone there assumed he belonged, too. Availability:

Basher Bob (MSH Classic)

Basher Bob (4C System)

Basher Bob (Marvel Saga)

Clarence 'Tex' Goldberg: this false Texan is the de facto public face of the Warriors of Thor, since he's the only person who claims to lead the group. As he runs the Warriors' lodge, he's about as close to a leader as the Warriors will tolerate. Availability:

Clarence 'Tex' Goldberg (MSH Classic)

Clarence 'Tex' Goldberg (4C System)

Clarence 'Tex' Goldberg (Marvel Saga)

Junge Donner: having always enjoyed Thor comics and literature, it was a cinch that Milton Blank would join up with the Warriors as soon as he learned of their existence. He's since become a prominent Warrior as well as one of the Higher Powers! Availability:

Junge Donner (MSH Classic)

Junge Donner (4C System)

Junge Donner (Marvel Saga)

the Robothorrior: sole survivor of an attack by a Frankologist cyborg, Wallace Abbot was left crippled and broken. Luckily he had money to spare however, and could afford to have his body rebuilt by unhinged Electronicists into... the Robothorrior! Availability:

Robothorrior (MSH Classic)

Robothorrior (4C System)

Robothorrior (Marvel Saga)

Xenia Xylia: a Xenia, Ohio native, Xylia Hernandez is a towering woman with a head for business, and the skills to kill a man ten times over. A professional adventurer, she's found an unexpected family in the Warriors of Thor, who remind her of herself! Availability:

Xenia Xylia (MSH Classic)

Xenia Xylia (4C System)

Xenia Xylia (Marvel Saga)

Yesterday's Yvonne: an older scrapper, Yvonne Jones is something of a den mother for the Warriors of Thor. But then she's infamous nationwide as a suspected gun runner, dope dealer, smuggler, and general biker thug, so you can see how she'd fit right in. Availability:

Yesterday's Yvonne (MSH Classic)

Yesterday's Yvonne (4C System)

Yesterday's Yvonne (Marvel Saga)

Warriors of Thor (Typical): while many Warriors of Thor are perfectly mundane humans, lacking ascendant abilities of any stripe, a few are a bit more... special. Some of these carry high tech implements, and others wield actual clerical magic! Availability:

Warriors of Thor (Typical, MSH Classic)

Warriors of Thor (Typical, 4C System)

Warriors of Thor (Typical, Marvel Saga)

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