Road Pig

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It's exceedingly difficult to make the description stick, but Road Pig is a normal human. Well, he's human, at any rate, if not normal. He may be a veritable force of nature, but the man lacks super-human capabilities of any variety - regardless of any evidence to the contrary.

Known Powers:


Limitations / Enhancements:



Cinderblock Hammer: one of the few melee implements that can stand up to Road Pig's regular use, it's also about the only thing he can build himself. He can use this thing to inflict his Brawn value +1 RS in Bashing damage, enough to stop personnel or vehicles in their tracks!

Makeshift Armor: repurposing discarded football equipment and biker gear, Road Pig has improvised partial armor for himself. His upper torso, lower legs, and shins benefit from rank value 6 protection against physical attack, making him even harder to take down.

Makeshift Shield: sometimes this consists of the corpse of a steel-belted, radial tire, other times it is a salvaged road sign. Either way, Road Pig may utilize this detritus as a shield, gaining rank value 6 protection against physical assault on a successful shield maneuver.

Explosive Crossbow: affixed to one of his arms, Road Pig can fire this weapon at will, devastating whatever irks his ire at range. Its bolts are actually grenades which inflict rank value 30 Slashing (fragmentary) damage to everything within their blast radius.


Multiple Personality: after spending any amount of time with him, one will find that this Dreadnok is literally of two minds about everything. Within the confines of his broken mind, one will find both the 'Road Pig' and the 'Donald' personas, constantly vying for dominance!

Unattractive: Road Pig has been described as staggeringly ugly by others - so much so, in fact, that it is a large portion of the Joes' file on him! When interacting with those who can't get past his tragic appearance, Road Pig's Repute is -2 RS for the purposes of NPC reactions.

Unpleasant Habits: not helping others get by his hostile demeanor and hit-by-the-ugly-stick-as-a-child appearance, Road Pig has been described as having startlingly bad personal hygiene. Cleaning himself up only once per year, Road Pig's Repute is effectively -2 RS in value.


Martial Arts style B: Road Pig has never been trained in the fine art of fisticuffs, but beating others senseless comes naturally to him. He may attempt any unarmed melee strike, whether punching, kicking, head butting, or even charging, at a +1 RS to the applicable trait.

Skill / Hammers: after exhaustive trial and error over the years, Road Pig has become surprisingly competent in the use of his makeshift, cinderblock hammers - though any other will work in a pinch. He may resolve attacks using such weaponry at a +1 RS to his Melee trait.


One of the Dreadnoks, Road Pig can theoretically rely upon them for assistance in a pinch. However, his membership in the group is simply a matter of them not knowing how to get rid of him - at least, not without him caving their collective skulls in first.


Like many Dreadnoks, Road Pig looks like a dystopian nightmare come to life. He wears black leather trousers, a bronze codpiece, discarded black football shoulder pads, steel-plated, brown leather boots, a brown thigh strap holding spare bolts, and a black leather left glove.


There are two personas within the shattered brain of this troubled Dreadnok. The first is Donald, possibly the original personality that inhabited his head. He is verbose, possessing a large vocabulary, and could quite possibly be described as something of a poet.

The other is Road Pig. He is brutish, ignorant, and pig-headed to a fault. He exults in the staggeringly large and powerful frame that nature has graced him with, and has absolutely no problem leveraging it against anyone or anything bothering him, smashing them with glee.

The two souls within this menace to society are both conscious simultaneously, and can converse with others at the same time. While they generally disagree on most things, both are cantankerous and readily resort to violence, and each bears an undying love for Zarana.

Not that Zarana remotely feels the same way about Road Pig. Or Donald. Especially not Donald.

Real Name: Donald Deluca
Occupation: mobile disaster in waiting
Legal Status: citizen of the United States with a rap sheet a mile long
Marital Status: single
Alias(es), if any: none
Group Affiliation: the Dreadnoks, Cobra

Height: 6' 7"
Hair: white, with a red (sometimes black) streak from ear to ear, occasionally dyed bright orange, with a green streak from ear to ear
Eyes: brown
Weight: 300 lbs.
Other Distinguishing Characteristics: Road Pig has a red anarchy symbol tattoo on his left bicep, as well as a red cobra on his left pectoral he's added in recent years (just the snake, not the organization's logo).


Road Pig is ugly. Real ugly. So ugly, in fact, that the doctor who oversaw his birth declared that he was the ugliest baby he'd ever seen! While some children outgrow this over the years, Road Pig actually got uglier over time - which only fueled his nascent, antisocial behavior.

Unusually large for his age, Road Pig was expelled from Kintergarten for running a milk money extortion ring, and was booted out of the Boy Scouts for being a loathsome bully. The only clique that would have him in his youth was a biker gang that exploited his irrational strength.

Even they ditched Road Pig in time, though, his unwillingness to bathe making him so pungently odious that they couldn't stand to be around him - and this when he rode downwind from them! It was around this time that Road Pig's mind splintered, developing two distinct personalities.

It is unclear who came first, Donald or Road Pig, but the two are polar opposites. The former is erudite and somewhat poetic, while the latter is ignorant and virtually monosyllabic. Both of his personalities are ill-tempered, however, which has led to Road Pig's legendary criminal record.

On one of his brief vacations from incarceration, Road Pig happened upon the Dreadnoks, and decided he wanted to try the whole biker gang thing again. The only problem was that, while he wished to join the Dreadnoks, the Dreadnoks didn't really want him to join them. At all.

They normally would have just told him to get bent, but feared what he might do to them immediately afterwards. As such, the Dreadnoks did something they haven't done before or since: they made Road Pig a probationary member of their merry band of malcontents and misanthropes.

Soon enough, Road Pig found himself pining for the one woman he'd ever met that was easily as nasty as he was: Zarana. She didn't remotely return his feelings, but found it advantageous to string him along, considering his willingness to disassemble anyone that vexed her.

The Dreadnoks abandoned Road Pig eventually, leaving him to his own devices. He resumed a lone lifestyle at this point, arguing with himself while drifting across the country, until he saw a news report about Zarana and Zanzibar having been arrested one day.

Prematurely ending the brawl he'd started when this news flashed across the television at the bar, Road Pig made his way to the police station where his unrequited love was being held. Single-handedly assaulting the joint, he liberated Zarana - and, reluctantly, Zanzibar.

With the Dreadnoks now associated with Cobra, Road Pig became a member of that group through osmosis. For the most part, he stuck by Zarana's side during the following years, serving as her bodyguard while she perpetrated various crimes for Cobra's Commander.

He occasionally got into trouble all on his own, though. Whether Cobra chose to arm him thus, or he simply stole the gear, Road Pig found himself with their experimental sonic weaponry in hand. Though unreliable, he delighted in the use of these dangerous, directed energy weapons.

Before Cobra disbanded for a time in 1994, the Dreadnoks split from the group to pursue their own agenda, such as it is. Unfortunately for them, Road Pig stuck to them like glue, not really having anything in common with those terrorists who were so determined to rule the world.

(Historical Divergence)

While the Dreadnoks successfully transformed from a small band of biker thugs into a nationwide criminal syndicate, Cobra was regrouping, and the two organizations found themselves working together once more. Not really caring who he smashed people for, Road Pig was fine with this.

This alliance of convenience persisted until Cobra forces killed an incarcerated Monkeywrench instead of releasing him while breaking out several of their fellows. After this point, the Commander was dead to them, and they were happy to sell the terrorists out at every turn.

While wanted for their various crimes, at least Road Pig and company weren't crushed alongside Cobra after they instigated World War 3.

1991 Variations


Flamethrower: one of Road Pig's more esoteric weapons is his inner-cooled, dual-barreled burst flamethrower. This weapon discharges two streams of burning napalm at Road Pig's target, which together inflict rank value 30 SD Energy damage with each deadly burst.

Sonic Cannon: it is unclear whether Cobra scientists gave this device to Road Pig or he stole it from them. Either way, he can fire bursts of focused sound with it that inflict rank value 20 Force or Energy damage, depending on the setting, though it fails on a white operations check.

XM1919A10: this fully automatic, blowback machine gun is almost as loud as Road Pig's sonic cannon. He can either fire a short burst of rounds from it to inflict rank value 20 Piercing damage, or fire this implement continuously to inflict rank value 30 Piercing damage.


Road Pig's second costume is a wild variation on his first, and includes blue leather trousers, an emerald codpiece, neon orange football shoulder pads, steel-plated, neon green leather boots, a neon green leather belt and thigh strap, and a dark blue leather left glove.

2004 Variations


Road Pig's third costume is a another variation on his first, and is comprised of gray camouflage trousers, a black codpiece, black football shoulder pads, steel-plated, gunmetal gray leather boots, a gray leather belt, a black leather thigh strap, and a black leather left glove.

2011 Variations


Scimitar: perhaps a nod to his almost-days as a Ninja Commando, or perhaps not, Road Pig recently began carrying this bladed weapon. Made from m.v. 40 metals, he can wield it in melee to inflict his Brawn value +1 RS in Slashing damage - if he can hit with it.


Road Pig's fourth ensemble is yet another variation on his original, and consists of black leather trousers, a black codpiece, black football shoulder pads, steel-plated, black leather boots, a brown leather belt, a brown leather thigh strap, and fingerless leather gloves.

Extra Goodies:

Road Pig 4C System: Edition 13 Text File Download

Cobra directories featuring a version of Road Pig:

  1988 1991 2004 2011  

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